On the weekend we were around some interesting people.

1. The two couples at the table beside us on the fireworks dinner cruise – First of all, only one of the couples was married. The other two were brother and sister. The sister introduced herself as soon as we sat down. We discovered where we were all from and then the conversation lagged. Dale got up to get us a drink and I smiled at them, saying I hoped they enjoyed the dinner and the fireworks. Then I busied myself looking for something in my purse. We didn’t have much more to do with them until the sister needed to get up to go to the bathroom. She had a lot of keys on a strap around her waist. It was pulling down her pants. As she was facing her table when she got up, no one there could see it and tell her. When she walked away, a good portion of her bright blue underpants were visible. The dinner didn’t start as soon as the boat left the dock and they complained loudly about that. They called over a young woman who was working and asked if they could be the first table to go up to the buffet. The woman said she wasn’t in charge but they could go up early if there was a medical need. Of course there wasn’t a medical reason, but they did go up and get some buns and butter, and then complained that the buns weren’t fresh and the butter was too hard. And wouldn’t you know it, we were called to go up and get our dinner before they were. We went outside to watch the fireworks and when we came back in, the brother was still sitting at the table.When his sister came in along with the other couple she asked why he hadn’t gone out. He said he didn’t like fireworks. What? He was on a fireworks dinner cruise! She said he didn’t miss anything because most of the fireworks were red and yellow, they weren’t very colourful. Sigh. They were the first ones off the boat. Complaining the whole way, I’m sure.

2. The lady who drank too much on the fireworks dinner cruise – There was a gap between dinner and the fireworks. We went outside and enjoyed the view. It was cooler and it was nice to get up and move around. Not everyone did that. One woman clearly used the time to get drunk. She came outside just before the fireworks. She was staggering, the wine in her wineglass sloshing from side to side. She was loudly complimenting the view, telling us we were all lucky to be living in the most beautiful city in the world. Her male partner corralled her back inside. We didn’t hear from her until after the fireworks. But when the boat’s lights came back on there was a large spill of red wine on the deck. When we were going back in there were a lot of boats around us. She hollered at all of them, especially when she saw people drinking. She said she wanted people like that on her boat, most of us were “uptight stick in the muds”. Yup. Because cool people get drunk and obnoxious on dinner cruises.

3. The ladies who came at the last minute to the Pride Parade and squeezed in front of us – We try to get to where we are going in a timely fashion, especially if we don’t have assigned seats. We’ve been to enough Pride Parades to know that the route fills up quickly. This year we got a spot in the shade behind a traffic barricade. We settled in and started playing Scrabble on our iPads. Then, as the Dykes on Bikes opened the parade, two women squeezed in front of us, between my chair and the power pole I was up against. They effectively blocked my view, except for what would pass directly in front of me. They were German tourists. I thought maybe they knew one of the dykes on a bike, so I waited to see if they would move. Nope. So I said something. The lady closest to me apologized and moved back. The other one, who was directly in front of the pole, balancing on the curb, did not but I could see past her. During the parade the two of them pushed forward trying to get every free thing that was being handed out. The pole lady sometimes went out onto the street to get things from the parade people. Really? I didn’t know temporary tattoos and cheap plastic beads were desirable souvenirs. However, they were horrified when someone pressed condoms in their hands. They dropped them and when I picked them up to give them back, they shook their heads and tucked their hands behind their backs. The young men around us were happy to get the extras. About halfway through the parade, people walked along and stood in front of her. She complained as the limited room she was in became even smaller. And they blocked her access to the stuff. She seemed miffed and then complained to them. Of course, no one took notice of her. Karma’s a bitch, isn’t it?

4. The young girls singing songs behind us – Every float in the Pride Parade had music blaring. Some of the songs were ones we weren’t familiar with, but some were oldies that everyone enjoyed. Dale was surprised that I knew the choruses of some of the more recent songs, but come on, who doesn’t know “Shake it Off” by Taylor Swift and “Born This Way” by Lady Gaga? Dale apparently. Anyway, the girls standing behind my chair knew all the songs and they sang out joyously. And then came “Dancing Queen”. Well, I knew that song before those girls were born. They might be fans now because of the movie but I was an original dancing queen. So, I let it rip. I sang out and those girls were pleasantly surprised. Yeah, bitches. Sometimes old ladies rock, well, disco. So there.

5. The couple from New York at the table behind us at breakfast – On the morning of the Pride Parade we checked out and then just went to the hotel restaurant for a quick breakfast. We sat outside and shortly after we sat down, another couple came out. The server took our breakfast drink order and then went to their table. They each ordered “ cawfee”. I smiled and repeated it under my breath. The server brought the coffees and then the gentleman ordered a Caesar. When the server brought it he said he was going home so he wouldn’t be getting real Canadian Caesars back home. The server laughed and said she loved New York. They were a little chagrined, as they had said they had been trying to talk Canadian. The server said she heard their accent right away, as she had studied it in acting classes. Yup, we’re definitely Hollywood North, all servers are aspiring actors. And really, can someone from New York really hide their accent and speak “Canadian”. Nope.