So, imagine this. I’m lounging by the pool on a beautiful Palm Springs morning. The sky is an incredible azure, the breeze just discernible. My eyes are shaded by my bright pink sun hat. The sun is hot on my already tanned legs. My darling husband is lounging beside me, minus the hat. It’s a wonderful morning. I’ve been reviewing my script, thinking about what my character wants in each of her scenes. Life is pretty wonderful, then….

Out of the corner of my eyes I see movement. I see a long tail so I’m thinking large squirrel or maybe a resort cat. I turn to look more closely and my heart stops. It’s a flipping roadrunner. It freezes, inches from my lounge, its beady eyes locked with mine. I do what any sensible person does in the presence of a dangerous wild creature. I maintain eye contact but get up and slowly back away. It doesn’t move as I put Dale and his lounge chair between us. It looks away though as the unsuspecting people around me pull out their phones to take pictures of it. I hiss at Dale to get his attention. He nonchalantly turns and sees it. But does he jump up to protect me? Does he do anything to make it go away and never come back? Nope. He gets my phone and takes pictures. The horrid little bird with the long beak and long legs and long tail feathers races around under the chairs. I seem to be the only one aware of the danger. Only I seem to be cognizant of the evil mind behind those beady eyes, luring us into complacency before flying at us, ready to peck out our eyes and feast on our brains.

It refuses to go away. I walk as calmly as I can into the pool. It will not follow me there. My body will be protected by the water, and my eyes are shielded by the large sunglasses I grabbed from the table before making the long,   dangerous walk. I slip into the pool and then turn to locate the predator. It is under some bushes, peering out at me. I put my hands into karate position, ready to defend myself. Dale swims up to me, laughing at my high state of readiness. I whisper the f word to him several times, bemoaning the lack of understanding that the rest of the people have. Then, a man throws a piece of bread to the devious roadrunner. It darts forward and viciously tears the bread into tiny pieces so it can eat it. But I know, the whole time it’s doing that, it is thinking that it would rather peck the man to pieces. Then a woman gets up and gets another piece of bread. I make my decision. I cannot stay by… er tread water by, while these people consort with such dangerous evil.

Without taking my eyes off of the bird, I leave the pool, pull on my cover-up and grab my belongings. With hand signals I tell Dale that I am going up to the room. I walk slowly but steadily across the pool deck, looking back several times to make sure I am not being stalked. Once I am in the building, with the door shut behind me I finally relax. Now I know how Wiley Coyote felt, the poor thing. Oh, the pictures didn’t turn out. I guess this roadrunner was also a vampire, its image could not be recorded. See, told you it was evil. So at home I am stalked by evil crows. Here I am terrorized by evil roadrunners. I’m beginning to get a complex.

Postscript – I guess it wasn’t a vampire roadrunner because this photo turned out, but it was still evil.