This is the time of the year when people make resolutions. They resolve to lose weight, to read more, to train for a marathon, to smile more, to curb their road rage, and so on and so on. I’ve made my share of New Year’s resolutions and I’ve not followed through on a single one. Why is it that we feel that we need a new start when a new year rolls around? Tradition I guess, just like we put up the tree and eat turkey.

Well, this year I’m not making any resolutions. However, I can tell you what I’m not going to do this year.

I’m not going to beat myself up because I don’t have the body or face or hair that magazines tell me I should have. I will continue to look after me, to keep up on the conflicting research that comes out. Coffees good, no coffees bad. Exercise at least 30 minutes three times a week, no 10 minutes a day is better. I try to look after myself. I haven’t had a pop in months. I use butter instead of margarine. I wash my hair every other day and only get the roots coloured. I apply sunscreen daily. I take calcium and vitamin D. Other than my osteoarthritic knee, I have no health issues. This is me right now, and I’m perfectly okay with that.

In that same vein of not letting others tell me what I should or shouldn’t do, or what I should or shouldn’t be, I’m not going to put my judgements and values on others. I don’t know their stories. I do know that what has happened to me in my life has lead me to the place I am now, to the person I am now and I value that. This is my life path; your life path may be different and that’s okay. Just don’t hurt me or others, that’s not okay.

I’m not going to let big issues over which I have no control negatively influence my life. I voted in the last election, so I did my part. I can’t control what the Americans do with their gun laws. I can’t stop the next earthquake from coming. I can’t make the traffic move faster. But I can stop watching the news reports about the latest mass shooting in South Carolina or California, I can prepare some supplies in case the big one hits us and I can sit quietly and listen to Broadway show tunes when the traffic slows to a crawl. I can only control how I react to the big things around me. I can let those big things make me afraid or angry or stressed; or not. My choice. And I choose not.

I’m not going to see the bad things first. We all know that person, the one who hears something and immediately puts a negative spin on it. I learned a while ago that you see what you look for. Look for bad and you’ll find it. I prefer to look for the good.  Will that stop bad things from happening? No. But again, I can’t control the bad things that happen in life, I can only control how I react to them. I know I will cry for the bad things that happen in life. I know my heart will ache for those who experience them. But I also know that when the sun shines I will let it warm my body. I will smell the flowers that line the walkway. I will look forward to that next visit with my friends. A very wise woman once told me “This too will pass.” So enjoy the good times and make them last.  And know that the bad times won’t last and take comfort in that.

I’m not going to stay still. I’m going to move forward, physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually – in every way possible. A pond that has no fresh water coming in becomes stagnant. The life there slowly dies. I don’t want to become stagnant so I’m going to stretch my limits. I’m going to keep moving. I’m going to let fresh, new things into my life. I want to continue acting but I might venture into directing. Seeing the whole picture instead of just my part interests me now. I’m going to keep writing but I might start painting too. I’m not sure what I’ll paint, but abstracts intrigue me. If something feeds me in some way, if it interests me, I’ll pursue it. It might just lead me to something wonderful and if it doesn’t, well at least I learned from it, and that’s so much better than doing nothing.

Big thoughts on a chilly Sunday afternoon. The tea I made I while ago is cooling in the pot. I should go and enjoy it before it’s too late. Those of you paying attention will know that’s another thing I’m not going to do.