Somewhere, I don’t where and I don’t know when, I heard that one day you just realize that you’re happy. That no one wakes up thinking that they’re happy, but at some point during a day, you just know that you’re happy. I can buy that. I’ve had those sudden realizations, but I also wonder if such profound realizations can be brought about by mindful consideration. We are taught to think about how our actions and words affect those around us.  We are taught to get up everyday and make our bed, wash our face, brush our teeth and get dressed. We put forward our best selves as we start and go about our day. Can we be as thoughtful and deliberate about our state of mind?

Research says that our minds can’t feel the difference between a fake smile and a real one. That if we smile, our brain reacts the same way if that smile is real or not. Now, before I go any further, let me say that I’m not talking here about fake smiling our way out of depression or anxiety or anything like that. I’m just talking about being aware of how we can shape our perceptions and affect our feelings. We work daily on our physical health. We try to get in at least a minimum amount of exercise. We try to get the right amount of sleep. We eat superfoods and limit refined foods. Shouldn’t we give our emotional health the same attention? Research has shown that walking in the woods is therapeutic. I know being by the sea, hearing the waves and letting the wind blow through my hair, helps me. Music can transform our moods and just the simple act of getting up and walking helps; dancing does the same thing on a larger scale.

I am a generally happy person. I wasn’t always that way. I remember going though a stage where I was negative about most things, and I was pretty miserable. I’m not sure why I was that way but I was. And then one day I heard about gratitude. Maybe it was on an Oprah show. I can’t remember but I heard it when I was ready to hear it and I started practicing gratitude. I bought a pretty journal and every day I wrote something down. Some days I really had to dig deep but it didn’t take too long before I realized how blessed I really was. I had a great deal more than a lot of people. Soon gratitude became an inherent part of my life and my life changed. Well, really it was the same life, I changed. When something annoying or frustrating happened, I was able to see it as a temporary event. I didn’t let it overwhelm me. If someone else was involved in the situation, I tried to see it from their point of view. I approached things more calmly than I might have in the past. Often that totally defused the situation.

I know I’ve written about this before. But there have been things that have happened in the last little while that have made me re-visit these thoughts and feelings. The news out of the US daily tests my resolve as there hasn’t been much that’s happened there in the last year or so that can be considered positive. But then a group of well-spoken, determined teens gives me hope. And I watch a talk show host who fights back with humour and I know there are people who will resist, who will fight back. And for every crappy thing that happens something good happens. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction – science.

I know you’re probably thinking it’s easy for someone like me to be happy. And you’re right, as I said, I am blessed and I do have a lot. However, no one gets through life without wounds and scars. No one has a completely charmed life. We all have challenges, we all have worries and concerns. I’m no different. Most of my career was during the 20 year systematic defunding and dismantling of public education. The stress of that job almost broke me. But then I started my journal. I bought tea making supplies for my room and every afternoon, after the kids left, I made tea and drank it alone while soothing music played. After a half an hour or so of conscious de-stressing, I got on with my work. I don’t have that stress any more but like everyone else, I have things I have to deal with. And I deal with them. And I look for positive things to balance out the not-so positive things. I sit in the sunshine. I visit with friends. I write. I sing. I act. I go for walks. I read. I bake. I nap. I interact with store clerks. I play Candy Crush and do sudokus and play Scrabble against the computer and against Dale. I’m about 50% successful against the former and about 98% successful against the latter.

As the wise Charlotte from “Sex and the City” said in the first movie, and I’m paraphrasing here, although I did find the script online and I could quote the line exactly, however the conversation was about relationships and that doesn’t really fit my premise, but I digress. She said she felt happiness every day, not all day every day, but every day. As I said at the outset, we live our lives and happiness finds us, in those small moments when we aren’t overwhelmed. Here’s to finding those daily moments.