I have friends who hold beliefs that I don’t hold. We can talk about our differences. We can have political, philosophical, theological and ideological conversations and still be civil. We can concede points that are well made. We can agree on some things while disagreeing on others. And, I believe we have moved each other along the continuums of our truths. We have been passionate in our discourse but there was always a good measure of love and respect in our voices, hearts and heads. And you know what, I don’t need you to believe everything I believe in order to be friends with you. As long as you respect what I believe and as long as I can respect what you believe, we’re good. My son says all systems of beliefs boil down to this – don’t be an asshole.  And I’m happy to say, most of you are not assholes.

Some people, however, hold beliefs and act on those beliefs in ways that are deal-breakers for me. Treat people, or speak of them, with disrespect because of their skin colour, their religious beliefs (or lack thereof), their sexual orientation, their gender identity, their size, their disability or whatever, and I’ll call you on it. If you are clearly disrespectful and judgemental and unwilling to at least curb those tendencies around me, then you’re gone. Thankfully I haven’t had to do that in real life. Because before you become a real friend I’ve determined that you’re not an asshole. Some of you don’t get to real friend level if I’ve seen your asshole tendencies. So we can be polite and discuss the weather and be superficial. Try to go deeper and I’ll politely take my leave. Be belligerent and I’ll tell you what I think before I leave. However, social media has changed that.

Some of you got into the “friend” circle because we met at some event or through some mutual friends and you sent me a friend request. I’m a polite person, I accepted that request. For some of you, I read your posts or comments and decided not to reply. You’re entitled to say what you want and I’m entitled not to respond. Some of you I stopped following. Your posts and comments offended or irritated me but I didn’t want to hurt your feelings, or get into a contentious discussion, so I just stopped seeing your posts. And you may have done the same to me, I don’t know and if you have, I don’t care.

But yesterday I actually unfriended someone whom I shouldn’t have friended in the first place. We had some face-to-face discussions where it was clear we did not hold similar beliefs. This person told me all teachers were lazy and entitled, that the public school system was crap, and he knew I had been a teacher. He said that doctors were in the pocket of big pharma, that I was crazy to be taking prescribed pain medication. He told me he grew up in the US and he may have told me how he ended up in Canada but I don’t remember. I pushed back a little but I was polite and restrained. I knew that our time together was ending so I could deal with his assholiness. Then he sent a friend request on a social media site. And I accepted. Stupid me. But his posts were few and far between and quite innocuous. Until yesterday. He reposted a pro-Trump, anti-immigrants article with his own comment attached. That was the final straw. First I unfollowed him, but then I went back and unfriended him. Calling immigrants vermin and agreeing that they belong in concentration camps is not something I can look past. I grew up in Canada and I’m a typical polite Canadian. But as our Prime Minister recently showed the American President this person supports, we will only take so much. And as I’ve said in past blog entries, I’m done with people’s negative energies. You are all welcome to your beliefs, but I’m not obliged to see or listen to them. As are you, so unfollow and unfriend as you see fit.

Now I’m off to do my daily yoga routine which I put off to write this, to stretch my tight neck and shoulder muscles and breathe out the negative energy this called up. Namaste.