I had another visit with my dear friend “Eunice” last week. You may recall I am changing my friend’s name to protect her identity. Well, during the visit Eunice brought me up-to-date with her neighbours and their darling doggy Paddington. If you haven’t already read my first post about Eunice, her back neighbours and Paddington, go do it now. The background information will help.

Paddington may have mastered the art of the quick pee, as Eunice’s neighbours no longer stand at their back door and shout at him to hurry up. However, it may be that they just let him out and he pees on his own timetable, because now when her neighbours venture out to bring him back in, they shout at him for another reason. Because now, after peeing quickly, Paddington likes to dig. This is what Eunice hears from her bedroom window most mornings, and sometimes from her deck or living room during the day.

Paddington! Stop digging! Stop! STOP! Don’t you dare, stop! PADDINGTON! Stop! For heaven’s sake, stop! George, Paddington’s digging again! Yes, I know I can go out and get him but he’s your dog. Yes he is! YES HE IS! YOUR DOG! Paddington, come here and get a cookie, COOKIE! GEORGE!

Of course, if it’s George who finds the dog digging, this is what Eunice hears.

Paddington! Stop! STOP! Dear god dog, just stop. Come here, HERE! COME HERE! Martha, come help. Yes, I know he’s my dog but you live here too, I’m not the only adult in this house. Paddington, here boy. Stop digging, good boy. Now get in the house. In the house. IN THE HOUSE NOW! Go see Mommy for a cookie.

Eunice is quite enjoying the free entertainment. Of course, she can’t see through, around or over the fence, so she had no idea what kind of damage Paddington is wreaking on their yard, but there’s no way the digging doggy can affect her yard. And if he somehow manages to do so, the Strata Council will deal with it.

However, as always, Eunice has been thinking about how to get her own back, as often these loud conversations take place early in the morning, usually around 6:30 – 7:00. Now, she knows that George and Martha’s townhouse is similar to hers, having a living room with sliding glass doors leading to a deck as well as a master bedroom with large windows on the back of the house. So, just as she can hear them from any of those spaces, she knows they can hear her. And now, with the cooler nights, air conditioners are off and windows are wide open. Here’s what she wishes she had the guts to do:

Oh my! OH MY! Don’t stop, don’t stop, DON”T STOP! Yes, yes, YES! That’s good, that’s good, so good! YES! YES! YES! Oh yes! Oh my, so good! SO GOOD! DON’T STOP! Don’t… ohhhhhhhhh… yes…yes. 

Of course, she knows she won’t do it, well, most probably she won’t do it. But it amused her to think about it and it is funny as hell when she tells people about it. Paddington will most likely get over his digging phase, but, then Eunice wonders, what other doggy humour will he unleash for her to exploit?

Stay tuned. If Eunice comes up with anything else blog worthy, I’ll let you know.