I am a pretty positive person. I have one tattoo reminding me to “find the joy” and another one encouraging me to be in the moment, not to dwell in the past or to worry about the future. I am not often drawn into negative situations; I have many skills in my toolbox to defuse contentious moments, I easily find compromises and I know how to build consensus. However, and it’s a huge however, there are some people who I find it virtually impossible to deal with, and wouldn’t you know it, there’s someone like that in my life now. This person (and rather than repeat that over and over again, I’m going to use the non-gender specific pronouns they, them and their) has to be the most negative, controlling person I’ve ever dealt with. They feel their opinion is the only one that matters, their way of doing things is the only way to do it and they are smarter, have higher standards and care more about everything than anybody else. Their voice is the loudest in every room and sometimes their fake condescending laugh rings out to punctuate the passive-aggressive approach they sometimes employ.

Now, my problem isn’t with this person, although I would be fully justified in having a problem with them, my problem is with myself. I have allowed this person to occupy way too much of my time. I have had lengthy conversations with them in my head, sometimes long into the night when I should be sleeping. I have let them goad me into reacting and then I beat myself up for not being strong enough to resist. And, worse of all, I’ve started to question my own skills and abilities. I have given my power away to this person and this blog serves notice that I’m not going to do that any more.

My life is pretty darn good. I am blessed in so many ways. My world is populated with smart, talented, creative, loving and amazing people. One a$$h@£e doesn’t have the right, rather I don’t have the right to allow this one a$$h@£e, to override the influence of all of those wonderful people. I will not allow their negativity to darken my world, I will require of myself that I allow the positivity of everyone else to add the colours of love and joy to my world. So, I ceremoniously expel this person and their toxicity out of my life.

BEGONE YOU BRINGER OF ANGST! Begone you who lives under a dark cloud and is not happy until that cloud extends over everyone. Begone you person who must always have the last word. Begone you mean-spirited, petty, toxic-spewing creature. With my wand of positive ions I cast a circle around me and those close to me. I sprinkle fairy dust and create rainbows to dispel the heaviness of your personality. And lastly, I send waves of goodwill your way. May your life become better so that you don’t feel the need to make other lives bad to somehow improve yours. May you someday see that you don’t need to compete with every person you meet. It must be hard to carry your negativity with you all the time and I’m not going to add to your load.  May you someday find the joy that is clearly missing from your life, but in the meantime you can’t have mine.

Wow, that felt good. Now I will not give this person one more moment of my time. When I have to interact with them, and that will happen, I will envision my wand and fairy dust and rainbows. And just so you know I’m not saintly, I will take pleasure in knowing that reaction will probably bug the shit out of them! And that people is what is known as a win-win.